All titles and names are approximate and we take no responsibility for anyone, ever, or whatever it is they’re doing or think they’re doing.
As you all know Porta John has past the GM position to Pink Slit. 4/18/2015.
Grand Master – Pink Slit
The head (who said head?!) man. The chairwoman of the board. The HMFIC. The guiding light. The GM is not simply figure head for the hash, rather she personifies the hash’s character (or lack thereof.) She leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through her officers, she gives inspiration, direction, and vision, except those blinded by wood alcohol… Also makes random and arbitrary decisions about hash activities that everyone ends up ignoring. Pink Slit has been hashing since 2009.
Religious Advisor – Beer Battered
Keeper of the faith. Enforcer of the scriptures. This is the hasher who has seen the light and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The Religious Advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. He is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash. The RA is personally responsible for ensuring that fine weather conditions prevail for a period of not less than one hour before a hash until DFL finishes.
On Sex – Used Rubber
Is responsible over the Hash Book that hashers sign into at Point A. Keeps track of each hasher’s run count and bestows hashers at circle with run patches they have earned. Responsible for managing the naming on Facebook.
Haberdasher – Bi The Numbers (email@example.com)
Provides hash attire and hash accessories to the pack. Able to create humorous and long lasting shirts, shorts, hats, and drinking vessels out of thin air (for a small price).
Hash Meister – 1/4 Mile High Club
An undercover agitator who seeks out hashers (usually after they’ve had a few drinks) and signs them up for haring future runs. Will interpret even the most lukewarm response to such inquiries as a “yes”. Want to hare a hash? In charge of keeping up the Hare Schedule and an posting the next trail on Facebook.
Beer Meister – Porta John
Bearer of the amber nectar. Provides love, warmth, and thirst quenching refreshment to each and every hash. Drives EPH3 yellow van.
Webmeister – SexSpurt
Creates, maintains EPH3 hash calendar and listens to general grumpiness about website. (Then promptly forgets to make any of the changes or updates discussed.)
Hash Flash – Choco Taco
Keeper of the camera, that is allowed to take pictures and make up any factual or non factual story attached to them.
Song Meister – Harder Than a 5th Grader
Responsible for supplying circle with the right song (& laminated song cards for those with poor memory?) at a moment’s notice.
Hash Scribe – Porta John
Chronicle the events and misdeeds of the kennel – for those who didn’t make it … Or just plain don’t remember & want to relive it!!
Hash Harlot – Cunts Way Low
Must I put something here!!
Beer Bitch Master – Leeroy and Stitches
Responsible for selecting two hashers to serve the beer needs for Down-Downs.