The Patch Song

Tune: The Brady Bunch

 There’s a story of a thirsty hasher.

Who kept  cumming to every fucking hash.

He kept hashing shitty trail with all these wankers,

and finally earned a patch.

Drink it down, down, down

The Bandana Song

Tune: On Top of Smokey

You’ve earned a bandana.

We got it right here.

If we catch you without it!

You’ll be drinking a BEER!

Drink it, down, down, down

 

Meet the Hashers
Tune: Meet the Flintstones

Hashers, meet the Hashers
They’re the biggest drunks in history
From the hash of El Paso
They’re the leaders in debauchery
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years
Watch them as they down a lot of beers
Down, down, down, down, down . . . keep downing to tune until all downs are done!

 

INCEST TIME IN TEXAS

Tune – Yellow Rose of Texas

When it’s incest time in Texas,

When there’s no cunt to be found,

Your mother’s in the bathroom,

With her panties halfway down,

No time for masturbation,

No time to beat your meat,

When it’s incest time in Texas,

Mother-fucking can’t be beat!

 

DEAD WHORE

Tune – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

I fucked a dead whore by the roadside,

I knew right away she was dead,

The skin was all gone from her belly,

And so was the hair from her head.

Dead whore, dead whore,

I knew right away she was dead, was dead.

Dead whore, dead whore,

I knew right away she was dead.

And as I lay down there beside her,

I knew right away I had sinned,

So I put my lips to her sweet pussy,

And sucked out the load I shot in.

Dead whore, dead whore,

I knew right away she was dead, was dead.

Dead whore, dead whore,

I knew right away she was dead.

 

WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL?

Tune – Itself

Why was he born so beautiful?

Why was he born at all?

He’s no fuckin’ use to anyone,

He’s no bloody use at all.

They say he’s a joy to his mother,

But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.

 

WHY ARE WE WAITING?

Tune – Come Let Us Adore Him

Why are we waiting,

Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),

Oh, why are we waiting,

So fucking long, etc . . .

 

WHERE WERE YOU LAST WEEK?

Tune – Where Oh Where Were You Last Night (from Hee Haw)

Where, Oh Where were you last week?

Why did you make us hash all alone?

You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren’t even here.

So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.

 

SHITTY TRAIL

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail (It sucked)
Shitty trail (really fucked)
The motherfuckers laid a shitty trail (shitty trail)
I would rather drink a beer than hash your shitty trail,
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

 

HERE’S TO BROTHER HASHER

Here’s to brother (sister) hasher,
Bother hasher, brother hasher,
Here’s to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

He’s happy, he’s jolly,
He’s fucked up by golly,
Here’s to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

 

BALL GAME

Whip it out at the ball game
Wave it round at the crowd
Dip it peanuts and crackerjack
I don’t care if you give it a whack
Because it’s
Beat your meat at the ball game
If you don’t cum it’s a shame
It’s one, two
And you’re covered in goo
At the old ball game

 

HERE’S TO (HASHER’S NAME)

Here’s to the (Hasher’s Name) ,
He’s true blue,
He’s a Hasher,
Through and through,
He’s a pisspot,
So they say,
Tried to go to heaven,
But he went the other way,
Drink it down, down, down .

 

HE’S THE MEANEST

He’s the meanest
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Ever since he found it
All he does is pound it
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
So drink! Chug a Lug, Chug a Lug,
Drink! Chug a Lug, Chug a Lug,
Drink! Chug a Lug, Chug a Lug,

 

HASHERS, MEET THE HASHERS,

Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of (where you are),
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down

Down, Down, Drink it all Down

Drink it all Down, Drink all of that Beer

You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren’t even here.

So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.

Drink it down, down, down, down . . .